
People always ask me why I'm so mean and never really let men into my life. I have been hurt so badly before, but I know what your thinking everyone has, but I thought this was truley my first love. I was with him for about 2 years. Everything was all good in the beginning as it always is. I met him the summer I graduated from high school. Off rip he spoiled me, anything I wanted he did. He was super sweet and all my friends loved him. I even introduced him to my grandma which I never do, and of course, she loved him just as everyone else did. Shit started going down hill after I went off college. I was so head over hills for this nigga. However, I started to notice things. I had got a sprint phone in my name for him (dumb ass). When we were in the process of getting it, he had a old sprint phone that he claim was in his old girlfriend name. That was my first time hearing of her name. Then the second time me seeing something was that he had a miltary ID, with her name on it. Mind you, he wasnt in the military. Still me thinking I was in love, I didn't question my man. Then when I went off to college, he started messing around on me with a different girl. When I threatened to leave him, he said that he would the leave the girl. Well that's what he claimed. Not only was he cheating on my dumb ass, he was beating me up. He would beat me like I was any nigga on the street, even blacked my eye with his phone one time. Around Christmas of 2007 is when the shock of my life came. He claimed that he was moving to Florida to train for a management position. Remember his phone was in my name so I could check where calls was coming and going from and to. His ass was in VA. So I confronted him about it and he denied it of course. One day I was out with friends and his 'ex girl' as he said called me. She told me that she was his WIFE. I was so hurt y'all. I lost 30 pounds in this relationship. I was around his family, mother and all, and no one ever mention he was married. So what I thought was love was lust. My heart still hurts from that shit. I was young going through shit you would normally read in a book. So I dont even know what love is, or even how it feel coming from a man, because my father never loved me either, I'm not bitter about it, hell it's life and shit happens. But for now, I refuse to let a man get close to me because the next one is DEAD!